There's A War Coming, Whose Side Are You On?

Yay for having a job. Boo for having to get up at 6am to get ready for said job to drive to said job, to walk into said job (20 minute hike) to sit at job for 9 hours to walk back to car (20 minute hike back) to drive back to base to get home, to cook dinner to do chores, to go to bed to get waken up at 2am when Shawn comes to bed...

The point of that run-on sentence? I am tired a good portion of the week. And then I sleep until 3pm on Saturday and Sunday.

I do like the job and it has gotten me thinking about what my master's degree will be in. I'm just totally not used to having a schedule where I am gone 70% of the day. I'm used to having all day to get my chores done and prepare dinner and so forth. Now, I don't have that luxury. But I'm still expected to do everything I used to do. Though I'm sure a bit of that expectation is me putting it on myself... though a few people have said that's debatable.

How has this new schedule gotten under my skin? Well, I got sick. Does that count? So drinking tea like a crazy person is on the agenda for the weekend.

However, said job has managed to let me read through "The Fellowship of the Ring" in just under a week... and it has gotten me very interested in a medical degree... sad and scary huh?

Plus I have met some great and interesting people. People who are vastly older than me, but very interesting and intelligent people nonetheless. So overall, the job is a good thing.

I just don't exist until after 5:30 on Friday.

I'm getting sick.

the end.

My cat has a spiked penis to increase ovulation in female cats (hopefully that's what he would have sex with). Thanks to Wikipedia, I just learned this. I wondered why it looked so weird.

I kinda don't want to start because then I might not stop. Usually I just convey feelings, I don't know if I bitch all that much. Do I?

I miss having friends I can talk to. I just got done talking to Randi Mae online, and it was the first "real" conversation I've had since I talked to Tim's Mom awhile ago. I don't even remember when that was. I don't hang out with people, or call people, or talk on AIM much. I don't feel I have anyone in my time zone I can really talk to. Since I've started my new job, I've been wanting to talk about how confused I am about whether I like it or not and whether I feel I'm cheating myself out of real happiness by staying there out of guilt and comfort and not trying for a programming job. I have a very guilty conscious for someone who doesn't do mean things on purpose. When the people at Lasco hired me, they were looking for someone to join the team for a long time. They chose me to join their team and I encouraged them to do so. If I decide I don't like it, I'd feel absolutely terrible about wasting their time and making them go through the hiring and training process again. And don't forget letting them down. Mostly I think I'm bored because I'm still part time and most of the stuff I do is just watching someone else do something. Today was the first time I got to do stuff by myself for a few hours, and it was really neat. I really want to become full time so I can do more, make more money, and have benefits in case I get sick and/or die. But they keep telling me to be patient that I'll become full time in due time. I've learned 95% of everything on the list for me to learn and I've only been there for 3 weeks. When I was hired they said I'd be part time for about 90 days, depending on how long it takes me to learn stuff. Well since I know pretty much everything I need to know now, why can't they just hurry up and show me the rest of the stuff so I can be on my full-time way? It's frustrating and there's nothing I can do about it. Plus my co-worker who shares an office with me tends to think everything they say is funny. Did I say everything? 'Cause I meant EVERYTHING. It's just annoying.

Did I bitch too much? I just miss programming and I don't know where to start to get back into it and I'm afraid I've already forgotten everything and I'll never be able to program again and then I would have wasted four years of my life for a career I could have done right out of high school. :sigh: I don't know...

And I'm supposed to be making mittens for veterans for Christmas (I decided this, no one told me to), but I haven't been doing that because I just can't bring myself to do it because I'm "afraid" that they'll turn out crappy or take me 11 hours for one mitten and then I'll only be able to give them one pair of mittens instead of the 10 or so I was hoping to make for them.