There's A War Coming, Whose Side Are You On?

It all started way before any of you guys were born. On a far away planet called deathlock IV. and on Deathlock IV there was a young hero named Baron Handscop Somean. Now Baron was not a mere mortal but was the last of a Kinsman called the maninites. The maninites were badass bro, and could seduce ladies with a single look. And Baron was the greatest of all the maninites, seducing women left and right, often giving his lady friends, who he bangs, a fake name behind so it is easier to break attachments. That name was Bhandsomeman.

Anyways, one day, through the evils of women who have tricked our hero before, he lost his ability to seduce women. Not wanting to disgrace the maninites he new he must get his powers of seduction back, but he knew his powers of old would never come back to him. That is when Baron came up with the greatest of plans, To form the worlds greatest rock band ever.

He was so excited of his plan he told a fellow maninite who was trying to seduce his womanite sister. That mans name was Desmond Pinato. However, Desmond Pinato was not a proud maninite of the legends of ole. he secluded himself from other maninite and lured people one by one into games that had no fun, to show off skills that mean nothing. And that is when Desomnd came up with a plan to trick Baron into letting him be in his rockband, and even making him the leader of that band.

Suddenly Baron one day got a text message from a long time friend. This friend was not a maninite, no he was not. However this friend was no stranger to the ladies either, as he was a race of men with exceptionally long penis's. And he had the greatest of all the penis's of this race, which is why he was known simply as "The Dicker". after one day of watching a television show, Desmond had somehow gotten the dicker to join the band as well. So when Baron asked Desmond what we should call this band, Desmond replied "Fuck Off!" when he was in the Loo, taking a poo. And from that day forward, they were known as the fuckoffs.

However baron noticed that their band was being limited by Desmond, often not wanting to play harder songs, so that their score may be higher which meant nothing to Baron or the Dicker or the entire rest of the people on Deathlock IV. Often as well, he would not share being the lead guitarists or song selection forcing the band and The dicker in particular to play lesser songs that were boring. And then one day, the band had gotten old to Desmond, and he no longer wanted to be a part of it. having showed off all the skill he thought he would be able to, he simply played a different game to show skill in that game that impressed no one on Deathlock IV.

With Desmond having left the band, Baron knew the Fuckoffs could not continue as Desmond was the leader and you can't load the band with out his profile signed in to Xbox live. So Baron and the Dicker decided to form their own band. But they knew they could not form a band on their own. That is when the dicker came up with a plan, and recruited his brother who was also from the race of men with giant penis's who was known as "Pickle" as it is a phallic name and implies his may not be long but has girth. and Pickle knew what was more important to the ladies.

So pickle joined the band and they all felt renewed and fresh and licked that band way more then they liked the fuckoff's. And the power of the awesomeness of the band caused Baron to regain some of his power of seduction with the ladies and caused both the Dickers and Pickles penis's to grow larger, but it was not enough. The band still needed something it, it needed a name. so they all went home that day to ponder, and each banged hundreds of women, and talked about it the next day with each other. it just so happened, all the womens had the same profession. they were all Hairdressers, and professional Bitches. But the Dicker and Pickle and Baron all thought it would have been really cool if they were maids, So they named the band "Bang Maid". And it was good. The power of Bang Maid caused all there instruments to upgrade it to rock and roll Pussy Magnets, that once they learned how to harness the power brought women from all over Deathlock IV for them to bang, but also do dishes and make sandwhiches.... oh and bang.

And thats how the Greatest Rock Band in the world was born.

The End!

holy shit, i can't believe everything just magically worked out.

like jess messeged me again on FB and told me that she would probably never see me again because her and bill wern't talking, and i gave her some relationship advice, and she gave him a call, and now they are like officially dating and shit and she told him the she was attracted to me, and it litterally all worked out. and he is grateful i basically said the things to her, he wanted to say but like the thing couldn't come from him. like this whole thing worked out fantastically, and it has to be from God or something, cause no way one chat about relationship advice where they were never gonna talk again made this all work out. and everyone is happy.

I am never this lucky.

OMG, life is so crazy.

So my roommates ex-girlfriend likes me. i say ex-girlfriend cause when i was introduced to her, she made a point of telling me ex-girlfriend, but they slept in the same room together, and said i love you to each other over the phone, and talked to each other everyday. so basically they were going out without the title, cause it was easier, then admitting they live realatively far apart and still have feelings together.

anyways so she was talking to me in a facebook chat window which i hate fb chat, about something i told her about the last time she was over here. and then i asked her when the next time she was visiting was, and she tells me that her and bill broke up, and i tried to play dumb i thought you wern't going out, and she starts telling me she has feelings for another guy, and she is confused. so i am trying to tell her, its natural to develop attractions to other people while your dating someone, and that the attraction doesn't matter, but your choices and actions are what matter the most. and then booomm!! she tells me she likes me. I typically try not to post Chat dialogue, but i kinda need to post this, cause the last time someone liked me i didn't like back, i feel i kinda handeled it the wrong way, and i can do better, and i wanna be a better person then i was to the person i was kinda a dick to cause i didn't know how to go about the situation... i still kinda feel bad about that. anyways

 

( Chat box with bills GF )

I dunno.
I can't help but be so flattered. like but nothing can happen, and my roommate aside, i don't even think i like her like that. but especially cause he is my roommates ex/"i think he is still in love with her" nothing is happening cause Bill is to good of a roommate and a person. i dunno. but at least i know i still got it. lol. i am such a badass... lol. jk. but seriously what should i do. in an ideal world, i could tell her i don't like her like that, but still be friends with her outside of my roommate (meaning wether there dating or not dating) and they would go back out and be happy with eachother. but life is just not that ideal. so how can i come to a close second. does anyone have any ideas?

Fill it out if your in the mood, and if you post it, and i see it, i will try to respond to yours. feel free to be as honest as you want in your first impressions of me, as i am a sexy beast... also i would accept dork.


01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

so things have been different up here.

( some of my ramblings and an update on my life and how i miss my friends back home, and about my new roommates... )

so i was scrolling through my random sites i go to, and i saw a website with a bunch of harry potter insults. my favorite is.

Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake

then there are these i also like.

Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio
Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill
Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim

Have you ever thought what it would be like when your parents died? I kinda have several times. I always kinda felt like my mom would probably die in a hospital, from like a heart attack or stroke, or possibly some type of drugs that were accidentally mixed that wern't suppose to be. I always imagined my step dad pete if he outlived my mom, shoving a gun in his mouth cause if my mom died, literally he would have nothing else in the world to live for, and though he loves me and my sister, probably wouldn't see us as a reason to live, at one point in time anyways i thought that, but if he didn't commit suicide, i always thought he would die something age and stress related like a sudden heart attack, or like a brain annurism that would happen specifically when he was mad at something. most likely me or my sister. I always imagined my sister outliving me, cause girls typically do outlive guy's and though she is older, she isn't that much older. also she does less stupid stuff then me. but when she does die, i imagined it would be after a long and hopefully happy life, probably in her sleep smiling. And i always thought i would die, from something just utterly disappointing. like the passenger seat of someone else's car where like i was the only one that died from like tetnis or something from the car crushing my toe or something.

I dunno, i have always thought that about how my family would die, until recently. like everything is fine and stuff, and nobody died, but lately i just have envisioned it different and its weird.

Impressive Xbox Technology


</div>

someone making fun of the impressive technology.